Sometimes all you need to do is actually try. No matter how scared you are, make a step. Get out of your pathetic little apartment and face the world. Everyone and everything. But, most of all, deal with what scares the shit out of you. Tell them. Speak the truth and you might have a chance to breathe again without having that intolerable weight on your chest. Life won't be such a torture and you could finally learn how to smile; for real this time, not faking it. So try, my friend. Take a risk and tell them you're just a little bit different but, who cares?
Shit! You care. And I care. And everyone else does. So, keep your mouth shout and pull the trigger.